Not a bright idea to write this piece in your blog especially when majority of your blog visitors are of female species, but I find it irresistible to write this especially when you still feel uneasy doing your grocery shopping and you couldn't care less when your Jusco card hasn't been renewed since 2006.
#1 Persistent promoters
Let's just say I am a sucker for promoters/salespersons with persistence and perseverance. There's this one time, I paid RM20 for a 'Mari Mengaji Muqaddam bersama Ustaz xxxx' that I didn't even know what to do with it, just to stay the hell away from a persistent pakcik; who I insisted I should buy it because I looked like 'a good guy'. He ended up following me from parking lot to 3rd floor.
And I usually avoid from walking anywhere near Hinode Shop because they got a team of incredibly persistent promoters standing in front of their premise. I just couldn't say no to them because I swear sometimes their eyes looked like Puss in Boots' in Shrek 2.
#2 Female promoters
Dealing with persistent promoters is one thing. But, dealing with female promoters is another thing.
I love buying shirts, hoodies and sweaters in Jusco. But somehow, the AEON manages to screw that up by hiring female promoters and putting them in male attire's department. Great. Now I can't trouble 'em promoters because I'm too scared to ask 'em favors.
#3 The crowds
Every time I go shopping, I feel like there's a gauntlet of judging eyes - judging every of my bad taste in fashion and food. Every time I pick a knock-off pack of boxers, I feel like someone's watching me and saying things like: "Urrghh...kenapa dia tak beli kat pasar malam je?".
Every time I go shopping for sneakers, I feel like someone's watching me from afar and saying: "Urrghh...sesuai ke dia dengan kasut tu? Tak padan dengan dengan baju bundle langsung!".
#4 Bad musics
Justin Bieber. Kesha. Lady Gaga. Irwansyah. You name it. You only hear these shits in the shopping mall.
Sometimes, they even play you bad shits in the past like George Michael, Moffats and The Hansons.
During the last week of fasting month, they would play shitty 'lagu raya yang dinyanyikan semula oleh Tomok dan Nana'. Masa Krismas pandai pulak pasang lagu Krismas yang asli? Kenapa tak pasang lagu Jingle Bells versi Barney Stinson? Hahaha.
#5 It's the only place to get approval
Most people who spent a lot of time in shopping malls are like artist. Really. They seek approval from strangers. Goth kids hang out in the shopping mall simply because they can't lepak-lepak, dressing up like that at their home.
School kids hang out and smoke in the shopping mall simply because it's the only place where people don't even give a damn care about their future. Couples strolling around, holding each other hands like they're married or something simply because it's the only place where people will look at them and say shits like: "Awww....cute nya diorang..."
#6 I was once a pop teenage star in Canada