• "If God is watching us, the least we can do is be entertaining..." - M. Moss

Followers

Pagi itu, gua bangun awal. Bunyi crot cret crot cret selipar jepun Ciko memecah keheningan. Gua bukak pintu bilik. Ciko buat muka epilepsi tergigil-gigil keluar bilik air. Gua bukak seluar sukan ke-3 gua dan pakai tuala. Kadang-kadang, malas nak basuh gua pakai je buat tidur. Tido pakai boxer kang, sia-sia Maher lantik gua jadi Rakan Surau, sebuah badan keagamaan berprestij kat sekolah gua. Makwe pun tak berani flirt dengan budak-budak Rakan Surau ni.

Habis mandi, gua capai kain pelikat yang bapak gua sedekah. Masa bapak gua bagi, bau badan bapak gua pun kuat lagi kat kain tu. Gua pakai kain. Kemudian, gua pakai baju sekolah. Seluar nanti gua tukar lepas sarapan. Lagipun, apa jadah semayang subuh pakai kemeja, seluar siap ngan tie nyer? Sekular gila. Tak Rakan Surau la macam ni.

Dari asrama ke surau, jauh. Sepanjang berjalan ke surau gua boleh nampak pak cik toreh getah kat estet getah sebelah kanan jalan. Dulu masa baru masuk, gua ingat hantu apa la ada lampu bergerak-gerak. Tabah penoreh-penoreh ni. Kalau takde penoreh,bole bangkrap industri membuat ubat nyamuk lingkar.

Sampai surau, gua tengok baru bape kerat sampai. Ada sorang budak junior duduk bucu sebelah kanan. Tengah baca Quran. Ciko duduk belakang. Tengah refresh ayat hafazan. Gua nampak sign kepala Maher suruh gua azan. Gua patuh. Gua on amplifier. Gua on mikrofon. Gua dehem-dehem sedas dua. Gua baca-baca sikit sebelum azan macam bilal masjid kampung gua. Lalu gua azan.

Gua azan ada style Turki itu hari. Style Masjid Biru zaman khalifah Uthmaniyyah punya. Sampai haiya-ala-ssolah gua tarik ada dalam 20 harakat. Lenggok-lenggok taranum hijjaz pun dah keluar dah masa ni. Gua asyik dalam keheningan dan kesyahduan salju subuh. Gua feel beb. Gua feel.

Habis azan, gua baca doa habis azan. Maher datang dekat gua.

"Mana assolatu-hairum-minann-naum ko?"

Keh keh. Gua cuba buat muka kiut sebelum gua dipecat.
 

Photo

Monday, January 25, 2010

pada 9:23 PM


52 nyamuk:

January 25, 2010 at 9:44 PM
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said...

wuahahhaha.. cumel la kisah sadis ini!! suka baca.. :D

January 25, 2010 at 10:26 PM
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said...

ahahaha....... seyes lawak beb........ blog neh da jadi feveret aku laaa...

January 25, 2010 at 10:43 PM
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said...

hahaahha...

maher je ke yg perasan?hehe

January 25, 2010 at 10:50 PM
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said...

hahahahahha..tu la lu..asik sangat jaga slang turki tu..

mesti orang2 yg tengah tido tu,rasa was2 nak bangun solat subuh..hahah

January 25, 2010 at 11:10 PM
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said...

Kah2. Lawak2. Rakan surau pemende ni bro.

January 25, 2010 at 11:36 PM
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said...

muahaha, mamun lagi la tuh..haduih

January 25, 2010 at 11:39 PM
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said...

haha..aku plg suka post ni..sempoi giler haha

January 26, 2010 at 12:05 AM
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said...

AG oh AG.. Aku sumpah ko sgt lawak.. Hahahahaha.. Ko mamai lg ke ape masa tu.. Huhu..

January 26, 2010 at 12:08 AM
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said...

haha..best gle sial cara ko bcte..walaupun ko tak layak jadi rakan surau, ko boleh kekal jadi penulis blog.

January 26, 2010 at 12:11 AM
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said...

jadi ko kena pecat tak...?kesalahan pertama,takkan kena pecat kot kan..?

January 26, 2010 at 12:22 AM
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said...

hahahaha...nice one.
it's hilarious..

by the way, it confidence that counts.

hehe. confident gile azan smpai lupe nak sebut "assolatu-hairum-minann-naum"

January 26, 2010 at 1:02 AM
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said...

ngigau!!!

January 26, 2010 at 1:03 AM
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said...

hahaha ;p

January 26, 2010 at 1:37 AM
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said...

skang ko rakan surau universiti ke?
gua nak kagum nih..

January 26, 2010 at 1:53 AM
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said...

haha..lepas tu kena pecat ke??

January 26, 2010 at 2:15 AM
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said...

lu toreh muka la lepas tu

kehkehkeh

January 26, 2010 at 2:17 AM
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said...

sembahyang lebih baik dr tdo..

ni 'tdo' nih..

January 26, 2010 at 7:25 PM
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said...

aduiii
kerana feel sgt sampai assolatu-hairum-minann-naum pn lupe
hahaha

January 27, 2010 at 1:06 PM
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said...

hahahahahaaaa..
ko telah wat aku hepi hari nie...
msti ko mamai lgi kan mse 2??
hahahaaa~

January 27, 2010 at 1:28 PM
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said...

hahaha. siyes la bro. takkan cmtuh skali kot? ;p

January 27, 2010 at 3:49 PM
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said...

wakakakaa....lawak tul la die ni

January 29, 2010 at 8:47 PM
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said...

jangan lupa ya
azan subuh lain sikit

January 30, 2010 at 6:00 AM
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said...

serius... betul ke ni.. nak gelak ni

January 30, 2010 at 2:03 PM
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said...

haha.

tak sempat nak hafal step iye dok?


apa kaitan ubat nyamuk dengan penoreh?

January 30, 2010 at 6:12 PM
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said...

@ ~ yus ~
cumel? kah kah..

January 30, 2010 at 6:12 PM
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said...

@ jard
wuyoo..thanks!

January 30, 2010 at 6:13 PM
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said...

@ amirah
nampak gaya camtu..hehe..

January 30, 2010 at 6:13 PM
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said...

@ mimie
haha..betul2...ingat azan isyak pulak..

January 30, 2010 at 6:14 PM
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said...

@ gadissebelahpintu
keh keh..

January 30, 2010 at 6:15 PM
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said...

@ nursarah
haha...mamai lagi...betul2..

January 30, 2010 at 6:15 PM
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said...

@ MissA
ey, thanks!

January 30, 2010 at 6:16 PM
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said...

@ FarhanaDr
ahaha..aku pun x tau..

January 30, 2010 at 6:16 PM
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said...

@ razman
kah kah. betul sangat..

January 30, 2010 at 6:16 PM
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said...

@ dial
maher baik..hehe..

January 30, 2010 at 6:17 PM
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said...

@ erine
lupa..haha..lupa gila...

January 30, 2010 at 6:17 PM
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said...

@ saypool
kalau ngigau aku x azan stail kenya dah..

January 30, 2010 at 6:18 PM
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said...

@ fitriah
have a good laugh? =)

January 30, 2010 at 6:18 PM
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said...

@ i'msosupernotcool
eh, idok ler...

January 30, 2010 at 6:19 PM
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said...

@ iyllienaz
tak..maher baik..hehe

January 30, 2010 at 6:19 PM
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said...

@ Koyuki
toreh sampai gua jadi hensem..

January 30, 2010 at 6:20 PM
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said...

@ green
haha..lupa maa...

January 30, 2010 at 6:20 PM
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said...

@ Judiene
keh3..

January 30, 2010 at 6:21 PM
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said...

@ rowena
haha...mandi kejap sanagt ni la gamaknya...

January 30, 2010 at 6:21 PM
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said...

@ farah
haha..xde2..maher baik..

January 30, 2010 at 6:22 PM
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said...

@ aini
keh3..

January 30, 2010 at 6:22 PM
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said...

@ kapten luffy
sejak itu hari aku x lupa dah..haha..

January 30, 2010 at 6:22 PM
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said...

@ moon death spell
betul.

January 30, 2010 at 6:23 PM
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said...

@ kuwe
penoreh bese bawak ubat nyamuk gantung pinggang kuar menoreh. xtau?

January 30, 2010 at 8:23 PM
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said...

hahahhahahaha... ko feeling terlebih tu waktu azan.... hahhahahahahah

February 1, 2010 at 5:54 PM
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said...

isk isk isk...

feeling terlebey laa tuhh...

February 7, 2010 at 12:30 PM
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said...

@ kawie & aujinz
haha...tu la pasal

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