I need you guys to help me with this problem. I've been wrecking my brain trying to get the bottom of this but I just can't get it right.
My ex wanted me to return all of my stuffs that she'd given to me while we were dating. All the birthday cards, anniversary cards, letters and her personal pictures. I would happily return the pictures but the birthday cards?? Really?
She explained that getting back that stuffs is part of her 'getting over me' processes. That's exactly what baffles me much. Somehow, she needs that stuffs (which practically are my stuffs since she gave 'em all as a GIFT) and burn them all to the ground to get over me. I think that is just plain crazy and insane.
The social convention of gift giving is practically simple.When you present a gift to someone, acceptance is assumed, unless they actually, physical or vocally, reject it. But since I accepted it, it becomes my property. And as a result, a gift given and accepted cannot legally be revoked by the giver.
Here's my points:
1. Well it's not exactly my intention to cling on her by not getting rid of her stuffs. It's just when I give 'em all to her, it's like the past 4 years of my life was all for nothing.
2. At least, when I have the all the letters and cards I knew I made a girl happy. I knew that I made her feel special.
3. It was kind of my testimonial of how well I was doing for the past 4 years. That I'm a hell of boyfriend (ha ha ha).
4. Who would revoke someone's birthday card? It's just plain crazy.
4. AND, if there is one person who I feel is qualified enough to tell me to get rid of these stuffs, it would be my next girlfriend. Not my ex.
Honestly, I don't like my chances on this one knowing that majority of my blog readers are female. But, I do think I have some valid points to defend my stance. You guys are the jury. If the majority roots for me, the letters and cards stay with me. But if they don't, I would totally give 'em all back to her.
Now, if you guys will excuse me I'm gonna sleep this off and let Pete and Carl heal my wound.
26 nyamuk:
October 23, 2010 at 6:43 AM
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Ibn `Abbas (May Allah be pleased with them) said: The Messenger of Allah (PBUH) said, "He who gives something (to someone) as a gift and then gets it back (from him or her) is like a dog which eats its own vomit.''
Another narration is: "He who gets back his charity is like a dog which vomits and then returns to that and eats it.''
[Al-Bukhari and Muslim]
October 23, 2010 at 7:27 AM
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Gua rasa,
dia nak hapuskan bukti yang lu penah jadik pakwe dia.
sebab tue apa apa saja yang ada, dia nak balik.
October 23, 2010 at 9:17 AM
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somtimes aku tgk balik..memori.hahahaha
October 23, 2010 at 9:27 AM
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if me..
i'll not taking back anything that i already gv to him..
honestly la..
for what?
destroy d memories?
memories tu semua dlm kepala..
kalau nak hapuskan skli pon..
hapuskn yg ada pd kita..
bukan pada die..
my opinion only..
katakan TIDAK pada buruk siku..
:))
no offense..
chillll...
October 23, 2010 at 9:31 AM
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haha...besar masalah ko kali neh erk...
kalo aku, aku xkan mintak balik barg aku kat die sebab aku nak bagi die rase bersalah seumur hidoppp...
tapi barang dia kat aku, aku bagi balik...sebab aku xsuke nak hingat, tengok, usha barang dia...
sebab dia curang ngan aku..hehe..
October 23, 2010 at 9:44 AM
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weird..
why on earth she wants those gifts back??
to help u to forget her??
eeerrrr...
if only u give her back those gifts..
still u would have remember her sometimes right?
coz she is a part of ur life too..
laa..
buruk siku namanyer tu...
lama dah carik blog nie...
:)
hello avid gunner~
October 23, 2010 at 9:44 AM
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from my point of view....maybe de tak nak ko simpan barg2 die yang die kasi ko cause selagi barang2 tu ader kt ko...de rase mcm de still sayangkan ko...padahal de tak sayangkan ko punnn (get wat i mean???)
Jdinya ape susah bagi jerla if ko pn da tak sayang dekat de lagi....watpe nak simpan.....bialah simpan kenangan yang ko kate 4 tahun tu kat dalam hati...bukan based on things...ok (if ko ingatlah)
P/s: bagi jerla if bender tu buat de hepi....setelah ko hurt de punyer feeling la let say.n anggap bende tu lah last yang TERBAIKKK la ko boley bagi dekat de....tak payah nak gaduh2 for bende kecik...walaupun ko memang kecik...hheheh
October 23, 2010 at 11:11 AM
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i love this point;
AND, if there is one person who I feel is qualified enough to tell me to get rid of these stuffs, it would be my next girlfriend. Not my ex.
ok. jom kte kapel? pastu, boleh la awk bakar sume kenangan awk dgn dia. wakakakakaka.
ala. biasalah pompuan... tp, tyh dgr sgt. cube ertegas je yg mende2 tu sume dah jd milik ko. ape nk men paksa2 pulak. x malu eh? opps. sory. teremo pulek.
ok. lg skali, jom kapel? MIAHAHAHAHAHAHA.
tpu je. bai.
October 23, 2010 at 12:09 PM
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Well, can't agree more. Karma's a bitch.
October 23, 2010 at 12:36 PM
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I didn't quite get the point in here. Your ex requested you to return all the stuffs she'd ever given to you because for the sake of getting over you?
Kan?
How the hell she'll get over you when she's having all YOUR stuffs, which of course ada bau u ke apa.. Oh dia nak bakar eh. Miss lak that part.
Sebab setahu aku, usually kalau girls nak get over her ex, dia yg akan pulangkan brg balik pd her ex tu, all the stuffs she ever received from him. BUKAN DIA YANG MINTAK KAU PULANG.
Anyway, its your stuffs. Pathetic gila kot minta balik barang yang pernah bagi. No offense.
October 23, 2010 at 2:18 PM
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haha. this is nonsense. it never occur in my mind to ask my ex to return all the stuffs that i'd been given to him. i think she just wants to attract ur attention with this silly thing. she still doesn't get over you. just my thought. :)
October 23, 2010 at 2:27 PM
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tak payah pulangkan. tetek.
October 23, 2010 at 2:48 PM
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Ini adalah pelik and completely ridiculous! U got ur point. X payah pulangkan!
October 23, 2010 at 3:53 PM
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Pulangkan ajer senang cite....
bukan ko suke die lagi pun kan??
ape susah
October 23, 2010 at 3:56 PM
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Dun think too complicated....easy as ABc...bai u perlu matured la.....if die nak lu bagi jerla..
October 23, 2010 at 6:05 PM
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avid,
perempuan sukakan perhatian.mungkin itu caranya dia mahu perhatian kau...dan mungkin dia masih sayang kan kau....
avid,
jangan pulangkan kad tu.paling tidak kau simpan memori kalau kau masih syg kan dia..dan paling tidak dia rasa kau masih syg kan dia apabila kau ckp kat dia kau nak simpan kad tuh..dan aku tau dia akan rasa hepi bila dpt tau kan masih syg kan dia...dan jgn lupe itu adalah salah satu agenda sebenarnya..nak tgk kau masih syg kan dia ke tak...
kalau kau still syg kan dia..dan x nak die sedih....kau tak payah pulangkan..
tp kalau kau dah tak kisah die sedih ke tak....pulangkan je la.
but then avid,
dia mesti sedih gila.
biasalah perempuan.
emotional.
avid take care.
kau nak facebook aku kan..ni ha...
(syafieqah nur fikie)
October 23, 2010 at 6:42 PM
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Takde kene mengena.. Tapi aku tetibe rase nak bercinta laa camni.. Kikiki.. :p
Hmmmmm.. Memang kalau boleh kita nak simpan wat something yang boleh kita kenang.. Tapi kalau orang dah insisted inginkannya kembali.. Kita boleh buat apa2 ker?
October 23, 2010 at 6:52 PM
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wa rasa lu simpan jer semua benda yang ex lu da bagi tu.
Esok lusa lu blh tunjuk dkt ank cucu lu, yg dulu lu ade gf mcm tu.
itu kan da kire hak lu... ikut suke hati lu la nak buat ape bnde tu nnt. gugur da hak dia pade brg tu ble dia da bg lu..
^_^
October 23, 2010 at 9:35 PM
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hahaha your ex sangat merepek, obviously. no offense.
those things tak effect langsung. i dont know why couples always act like a child. c'mon. time sayang, macam2 bagi. macam2 hadiah dapat, sayang punya pasal.. when the relationship is over, mula la nak suruh pulang barang la, bakar la whatsoever. grow up laa...
poyo sangat tuuu..
tak payah pulangkan bro.
if ever ur ex baca nlog nie, no offense ye. stop being immature.
October 23, 2010 at 9:59 PM
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tak yah la pulangkan... itu je memori yg ada... lagipun, dh bg, xkan nak amek balik??? bagi aku tu semua kenangan.
Even aku rasa teruk gila masa dia tinggalkan aku, tapi itu je yg tinggal untuk aku simpan dlm kenangan aku. Bila rindu, aku ada sesuatu ttg dia.
aku rasa ex ko ni psiko atau sbnarnya dia tamak kasih sayang... hehe ala, kesimpulannya tak yah pulangkn. even aku gurl, aku rasa tak yah la pulangkn. Alasan2 ko tu dah betul.
October 24, 2010 at 12:50 AM
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1st : aku rase ni lawak.
2nd : aku suke ape mr anonymous cakap.
3rd : sebagai sorg pompuan.kompem ex ko still sayang ko n dia saje nak ade connection ngan ko.sebab tu dia saje wat gini..
4th : kalau ko rase x syg dia, ko pulang kan jela..memang la nampak cam kejam.tapi sometimes better jadik kejam.kalau buat baik sgt, nanti ko akan bagi dia harapan yang memang kompem sebenarnye ko x bagi tapi dia jek yang perasan sorg2...lagi sakit ex ko tu nanti kan?
5th : walaupon da berpisah, try jangan sakitkan or lukakan hati ex kite lagi..kecik ati dia kalau bace ape ko tulis ni..geram mane pon, dulu dia pernah jadik org yg selalu buat ko hepi..tol x?
6th : bye2
October 24, 2010 at 6:28 PM
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o.O jangan gado-gado lagi lah,put yourself in her shoes (secara literally memang lah tak muat, kasut dia kecik, kaki kau kaki jantan)
bagi je lah, tak lagi ada kecoh-kecoh, kau lelaki, dia perempuan. if dengan ex pun hubungan tak okay, main bagi-ambil-bagi-ambil, how about hubungan dengan future gf lak nanti?
bagi je, settle. kan. ke kau yang tak nak settle kan hubungan kau orang?
October 24, 2010 at 11:24 PM
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hahaha
ak wpon dah clash ke tak mintak semua tu balik.for what? kalau ak kasi dia jam,belt,tie semua aku nak pakai ke?ak nak kasi kat bf ak yg baru ke??
plz la..bg aku baik buang daripada bg balik.buat semak je ingat kenangan yg lampau.
October 25, 2010 at 10:05 AM
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avid, u pulangkan balik ea??? apa saje keputusan u, its ur own decision... n u berhak buat apa shj... we all still support u... hehhee take care dude.. ahaks
October 26, 2010 at 2:00 PM
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Hahaha.dia pnah bagi kau teddybbear tak
October 26, 2010 at 7:06 PM
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ramai dah komen.. lu ikut je diaorang.. byk jugak bernas